Last week we posted a Truth Media review of BioShock, the underwater first-person-shooter that felt more like Condemned with magic fireballs than the spiritual successor to System Shock 2. While it's a fun game, rabid nerds seemed to have a problem with anybody calling it less than perfect. When GameSpot gave BioShock a 9.0 a controversy arose out of Jeff Gerstmann's refusal to embrace "VitaChambers". This sent shockwaves through the 13-year-old gamer community, still licking their wounds after Gerstmann gave The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess an 8.8.
If seeing lower than expected arbitrary numbers like 8's and 9's attached to their favorite games freaked out these guys so much, how would they feel about someone giving BioShock a 7.5 in a review complete with deliberate errors and misinformation? We hope that the following pages of angry forum posts and emails answers just that.
"topherstud" kindly offered to get the ball rolling by posting the only truthful review to be published about BioShock in the GameFAQ's Xbox 360 BioShock forum. Only one reviewer had what it takes to cut through the hype and deliver a hard-hitting, honest review of a game he hadn't even played yet. We've got a full deck of integrity at Truth Media, and honesty is in the cards.
He just doesn't "get" Ken Levine's vision of an first-person-shooter that breaks all the usual FPS cliches.
Bias? We don't even know the meaning of the word "bias" at Truth Media. There are a lot of other words we don't know either, like "deceitful", "payoff", "lies", and "the".
GameFAQs should offer a service where you can see what posts were "deleted at the request of the original poster". I would pay ten bucks for such a service and compile a Weekend Web article called "TOO HOT FOR THE INTERNET: Deleted GameFAQs Posts".
A few people get the joke, but despite the countless numbers of "oh it's a joke" posts, people still post their angry reactions. It only goes to show that nobody on the Internet reads an entire thread before putting their foot in their big mouth.
A joke you say! We don't joke around at Truth Media. There's media out there just itching to lie to you and we expose that media for what it is!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews