Games aren't just for kids any more! Once upon a time video games were beeps and boops, but now they are very realistic. Move over Mario - Shadow Sonic is in town, and he's got guns. You might say gaming has grown up.
After inserting quarters and getting swollen joystick thumbs for years, have video game junkies learned anything of value? As a matter of fact, they have!
Lesson #1: Don't let the ghosts touch you
Lesson #2: Don't walk into lava
Lesson #3: Don't leave the area
Lesson #4: Some people are named Bill - it can't be helped
Lesson #5: Climb into the mass grave
Lesson #6: Items labeled Trash can be sold to any vendor
Lesson #7: Kiss your loved ones
Drawn to Death
If the goal was to be more forced, annoying, and hideous than Bad Day LA, the result is a tremendous success. 2/10
There are already so many fantastic, lengthy new games that I can't get around to all of them, so I'm deducting a point. 9/10
It's fine, even if every environment texture looks like spraypainted broccoli. 5/10
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
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