Every tiny pain and itch in your body, even ones that you ordinarily would not notice, is amplified tenfold. Take a moment to catalogue all the minor itches in your body. Even if you feel that you have none, imaginary itches will begin to appear. Scratching them will not be satisfying.
Tooth was driving that Highline with Bill Cosby painted on the hood, you remember that shit? He explained that shit to me: “I require a fine luxury automobile, god, but I need to deflect the accusations of flamboyance and ostentation that a righteous black man must face when living with high material means, so I painted Bill Cosby on that shit.”
Dorroile is the worst man. He is antic and grotesque, beloved to the moon; incorrigible. His gruesome, slapping dance is imitated by children despite the loom of the switch, for he represents to them the mythic freedom of snakes and bears. All else who offend in this district offend in his shadow.
When you own it all, you look around and see all the shit you own, you look down past them gold ropes on your neck and see a mischievous fine Chinese bitch trying to undo your Gucci pants, and you start to think ‘what is left for me to acquire in this city,’ and it’s a feeling that might breed wickedness in a righteous man.
Every man in this family has been run out of town. Your great granddaddy, Euwell, he was run out of town in a much higher style, watching the federales burn his stills, plumes of smoke thirty foot high. Looking back on his livelihood up in smoke, now the federales are burning down his whorehouse, too, whores still inside screaming his name.
This weekend, a company called Moniker Marketplace auctioned off a huge, torrential load of valuable adult domain names. Some went for tens or even hundreds of thousands. Many more remain unsold, so you still might be able to snag a top-quality adult domain for an affordable price.
If I arced my urine into the jaws of my friend, the Tennessee combat badger, would he accept it as nourishment? And furthermore, would he, out of respect for our shared situation, oblige me in passing it through his hindquarters and into my waiting mouth?
Isaac Asimov lists the 30 laws of robotics, including <i>"A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm."</i> and <i>"A robot must stop visiting Isaac Asimov's bedroom at night and fabricating situations that would make it appear that Asimov has less than total control of his urinary faculties."</i>
Heeyyy! New here? Yeah, nice to see some ladies around here. You know, in the workplace. Women in the workplace. The ladies. Heh. Kind of seems like a boys club around here sometimes, right? Finally get some use out of that women's bathroom, right? I mean... you know. We all use the bathroom. I mean, we don't all use the women's bathroom. You do.
Did I tell you about that time Tooth Tooth met the pope? Son, that shit is crazy. Actual goddamn pope, son. You gotta take my word on this one, god, because you ain’t gonna find that shit in any history book, you heard? This was two minds coming together, but will you ever hear about this shit from any devil’s history book? Naw, man.
It is moth month. Grey things are in the air; they fly at us and get in our tongues. We stir up ashes when we walk. The moths are coming back soon to eat at our clothes and land on our faces in the night. You will be shut in your house for weeks, and this bulletin must hold you over until you reemerge. Consider this news.
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