Burnt Ice, submitted by Arlee Smarmy. There is a lot of fanfiction out there. Focus. There is a lot of TV related fanfiction out there. Focus. There is a lot of cartoon TV show related fanfiction out there. Focus. There is a lot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fanfiction out there. Focus. There is only one 18 chapter epic of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles self-insertion fanfiction out there, and it is entitled Burnt Ice.

Venus, believing I was speaking to her, replied, "Why yes, she was on the television an hour ago!" She paused as she thought of what to say. "You leaped pretty high when the phone rang, Aeval."

"Yeah, well, I was practicing for the Olympics."

This comment obviously confused her. "But you are not human. I do not believe they will accept you."

I laughed at her reply. Suddenly, there was another knock at the door.

"What now?" I asked a bit annoyed at the second knock.

"April’s com’n! She wants to meet you two! Plus she’s bring’n Casey!"

I looked at Venus and asked, "Uhm, who’s Casey?"

No. I admit, the chapters are only 3 or 4 pages long at the most, but with 18 chapters that's like 50+ pages of this girl pretending that she and her friends are Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. People look to things like September 11th as signs that the world is ending, Burnt Ice is a real sign that the world is ending. Come claim me now Lucifer!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.