Gay Fuel, submitted by shpadoinkle. Does the world really need a gay-specific energy drink? Need or no need, here it comes, thanks to the makers of the new and no doubt delicious Gay Fuel.
Water, sugar, acidifying agent, citric acid, taurine, elderberry juice from concentrate, flavors, antioxidant: ascorbic acid, caffeine, carbon dioxide, guarana extract, lapacho extract, marapuama extract, damiana extract, ginseng, vitamins, niacin, pantothenic acid, vitamin B, vitamin B12
Those ingredients look perfectly normal to me. I wondered what makes Gay Fuel perfect for the modern gay so I ordered a six pack and checked out the label on the back of a can.
Well, that answers that.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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