Roger Owen For Congress, submitted by scientician. Roger Owen is a man's man. He is a "Southern Democrat," and according to his site, he is damn proud of the fact. Apparently he is also a great humanitarian, since he obviously hired the kids they hide in the basement of the hospital to design his Web site.
I mean, look at this. Besides the fact that the page features twenty different colors of text (in various sizes), we're also forced to look at his giant chipmunk face before we have a chance to shy away. The text is apparently self-aware, too, since it seemed to align itself to various things on my desk instead of the margins of the site.
But what's the real reason we should vote for Roger Owen? The pictures. Besides a group of pictures of a swimming pool being built, we also get this amazing piece of art:
C'mon, people. The man rebuilds pools and talks to clip-art aliens. Vote Roger Blake or throw your vote away, you communist ninny.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.