Roger Owen For Congress, submitted by scientician. Roger Owen is a man's man. He is a "Southern Democrat," and according to his site, he is damn proud of the fact. Apparently he is also a great humanitarian, since he obviously hired the kids they hide in the basement of the hospital to design his Web site.
I mean, look at this. Besides the fact that the page features twenty different colors of text (in various sizes), we're also forced to look at his giant chipmunk face before we have a chance to shy away. The text is apparently self-aware, too, since it seemed to align itself to various things on my desk instead of the margins of the site.
But what's the real reason we should vote for Roger Owen? The pictures. Besides a group of pictures of a swimming pool being built, we also get this amazing piece of art:
C'mon, people. The man rebuilds pools and talks to clip-art aliens. Vote Roger Blake or throw your vote away, you communist ninny.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.