Hallitube Intiative, submitted by Jamesface. Traffic in LA is terrible,so those of us who live nearby mostly talk about ways to improve it. There are a lot of very good ideas floating around, including more trains, buses, and subways, and also if everyone would stop driving so goddamn much.
The folks at this website have a different vision, however. A vision that could only come from getting baked and then watching a ton of cartoons that take place in the future. I'll let them explain their, uh, plan:
A Polyurethane tube, lampost+-size pylons, luge-like carts with high quality bearings running along highways on a rollercoaster-like rail system, ending in malls, residential areas, industry, with local and express lines, and rider operated rail switches.
In case you didn't catch all that, let me explain in simpler terms. What they're talking about are FUTURE TUBESTM. Why use a bus or a train or carpool when you could get in a FUTURE TUBETM like a HUGE IDIOTTM and zip around until you realized that YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN THE REAL WORLD AND IT'S A STUPID IDEATM. Here's a diagram to illustrate.
FUTURE TUBESTM. They're the future.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
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