Hallitube Intiative, submitted by Jamesface. Traffic in LA is terrible,so those of us who live nearby mostly talk about ways to improve it. There are a lot of very good ideas floating around, including more trains, buses, and subways, and also if everyone would stop driving so goddamn much.
The folks at this website have a different vision, however. A vision that could only come from getting baked and then watching a ton of cartoons that take place in the future. I'll let them explain their, uh, plan:
A Polyurethane tube, lampost+-size pylons, luge-like carts with high quality bearings running along highways on a rollercoaster-like rail system, ending in malls, residential areas, industry, with local and express lines, and rider operated rail switches.
In case you didn't catch all that, let me explain in simpler terms. What they're talking about are FUTURE TUBESTM. Why use a bus or a train or carpool when you could get in a FUTURE TUBETM like a HUGE IDIOTTM and zip around until you realized that YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN THE REAL WORLD AND IT'S A STUPID IDEATM. Here's a diagram to illustrate.
FUTURE TUBESTM. They're the future.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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