Hallitube Intiative, submitted by Jamesface. Traffic in LA is terrible,so those of us who live nearby mostly talk about ways to improve it. There are a lot of very good ideas floating around, including more trains, buses, and subways, and also if everyone would stop driving so goddamn much.
The folks at this website have a different vision, however. A vision that could only come from getting baked and then watching a ton of cartoons that take place in the future. I'll let them explain their, uh, plan:
A Polyurethane tube, lampost+-size pylons, luge-like carts with high quality bearings running along highways on a rollercoaster-like rail system, ending in malls, residential areas, industry, with local and express lines, and rider operated rail switches.
In case you didn't catch all that, let me explain in simpler terms. What they're talking about are FUTURE TUBESTM. Why use a bus or a train or carpool when you could get in a FUTURE TUBETM like a HUGE IDIOTTM and zip around until you realized that YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN THE REAL WORLD AND IT'S A STUPID IDEATM. Here's a diagram to illustrate.
FUTURE TUBESTM. They're the future.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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