Hallitube Intiative, submitted by Jamesface. Traffic in LA is terrible,so those of us who live nearby mostly talk about ways to improve it. There are a lot of very good ideas floating around, including more trains, buses, and subways, and also if everyone would stop driving so goddamn much.
The folks at this website have a different vision, however. A vision that could only come from getting baked and then watching a ton of cartoons that take place in the future. I'll let them explain their, uh, plan:
A Polyurethane tube, lampost+-size pylons, luge-like carts with high quality bearings running along highways on a rollercoaster-like rail system, ending in malls, residential areas, industry, with local and express lines, and rider operated rail switches.
In case you didn't catch all that, let me explain in simpler terms. What they're talking about are FUTURE TUBESTM. Why use a bus or a train or carpool when you could get in a FUTURE TUBETM like a HUGE IDIOTTM and zip around until you realized that YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN THE REAL WORLD AND IT'S A STUPID IDEATM. Here's a diagram to illustrate.
FUTURE TUBESTM. They're the future.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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