When you're a teen, insecurity starts to set in. Girls worry if their hair looks as pretty as the other girls in school. Guys hope they're wearing their pants just low enough, so all the girls can get a proper glimpse at their boxers. Soon, girls start wondering if their "secret gardens" are normal, and guys sneak peeks to see how they measure up. To ease this curiosity about others' crotches, the Something Awful Forum Goons flash their "special places."




Waffle grid
Waffle grid

Good morning Vagina! What should we do today?

Stick a Rapex condom in me and we'll shred and tear the day away! TAKE THEIR PENISES AS TROPHIES!!!! RAAAAAAAARRRGH

Goon reactions to penis-eating blood-sucking vagina:

Doc Block: "Why are there stretch marks around your asshole? "

Takis: "Is it... is it holding fire? oh god..."

Discount Bees
Discount Bees

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.