This week's article has been magnetically supercharged by my probably not patented Chi-Chi Rodriguez Energy Band. You may remember the Chi-Chi Rodriguez Energy Band from commercials years ago that touted its magnetic properties, saying the bracelet would make energy flow through your body like those accelerator things that shoot Hot Wheels cars down the track. I found mine, I'm so excited.

As you can see from the image I found on Google here, the Energy Band is made from four designer elements: Gold, silver, copper, and magnet. Each one works together to make me feel good on the inside and fashionable on the outside. At first I was a little worried that the magnets would cause the iron in my blood to pile up in my wrists and kill me, which was foolish. So how do I feel?

Despite a little arm pain, fantastic.

Packlands

Posters at this forum believe they have honest-to-goodness wolf spirits living in their brains, and that they too are wolves. But they aren't just fooling around, they are deadly serious, which is what makes it so great.

"God didn't give dogs balls so you can cut them off... he gave dogs balls so you can suck them off." WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK???

The only time I ever tried to connect with a dog spirit was during my visit to the dog track. (I still lost.)

Oh you're all so deep and interesting. So interesting that someone should write a book and give it to me so I can toss it in my fireplace.

Take solace in the fact that there's probably a car's bumper out there with their names on it.

Keep an eye out in your local paper for the article "Man's Genitals Mangled by Wolf"

Fantastic, thank you "Gabhlan" for that wonderful thought.

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