More than meets the eye!, submitted by Me. When the internet was created by Al Gore and Dick Cheney in a blender back in 1927, they should have hung a sign on it that said "No fat chicks". Now, before you start going "Oh, be nice", take a look at this:

Hi, Thanks for stopping by! I'm a SSBBW from New Jersey, if you don't know what that stands... for keep reading, SSBBW = Super Sized Big Beautiful Woman and that is what I am. I don't diet or apologize for my size. I am 42 years old and a Taurus. I am around 375 lbs. and about 5'5". I have hip length brown hair and hazel eyes. I'm a buxom babe with a Vampire Bat tattoo! (Only special people know his name. ^..^)

I bet his name has something to do with an almond joy bar. Anyway, this is horrible and should not be accepted on the internet or in real life. Enjoy pictures from such events as "Cindy's Flabulous Fourth". The counter at the bottom of the page may seem high, at 200,000 plus page views, but that's simply the weight, in kilograms, of each and every one of her 5 readers together.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.