When placing an ad in Popular Mechanics, you want to make sure you're reaching the right demographic for your product. Perhaps these tech-savvy readers require materials to build a crude suspension bridge, or maybe they need a cryogenic chamber to keep a loved one in a state of suspended animation, but most likely they just need suspenders, the wondrous pulley-and-harness contraption of the clothing world. By advertising in Popular Mechanics, the Holdup Suspender Company demonstrates it's serious about showcasing the technological soundness of its fearsome, viper-like No-Slip Clip. Furthermore, Holdup Co. wants you to know suspenders aren't just for clowns and farmhands anymore, so they featured the hippest models they could find.

Oh, wait. You have to visit the Urban Youth Center (by clicking on a picture of Kelly Kapowski) to see the cool kids.

Suspenders are also perfect for guys who do push-ups at the office, their ties dangling precariously over coffee cups.

Are you hooked up or are you available?

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.