Scuba Steve is a self-proclaimed "dating coach," relying on the experience culled from "at least 100 dates" to counsel pathetic dudes on how they, too, can pose for photographs with attractive women. (Tip: Use his patented "Hey I noticed you taking pictures, but you forgot one with me" pick-up line!) However, Scuba Steve doesn't rely solely upon his own "CRAZY weekend stories" for anecdotes and insights: He also cites Van Wilder and American Pie 3.
Scuba Steve employs objectionable phrases such as "scooping biddies" and "the tunes I bump in the fly whip" to help give his writing a gentle push from "annoying" to "intolerable." He claims the site exists "for the sake of humor." Sadly, this doesn't seem to mean that his entire persona is a parody of the "desperate loser's guide to seduction" industry (like the crap he touts as "recommended products"). Instead, it suggests he thinks this shit is actually funny.
You: “Hey! Can I get your picture?”
Random Breezy #2: “What? Why?”
You: “So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas!”
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.