Scuba Steve is a self-proclaimed "dating coach," relying on the experience culled from "at least 100 dates" to counsel pathetic dudes on how they, too, can pose for photographs with attractive women. (Tip: Use his patented "Hey I noticed you taking pictures, but you forgot one with me" pick-up line!) However, Scuba Steve doesn't rely solely upon his own "CRAZY weekend stories" for anecdotes and insights: He also cites Van Wilder and American Pie 3.
Scuba Steve employs objectionable phrases such as "scooping biddies" and "the tunes I bump in the fly whip" to help give his writing a gentle push from "annoying" to "intolerable." He claims the site exists "for the sake of humor." Sadly, this doesn't seem to mean that his entire persona is a parody of the "desperate loser's guide to seduction" industry (like the crap he touts as "recommended products"). Instead, it suggests he thinks this shit is actually funny.
You: “Hey! Can I get your picture?”
Random Breezy #2: “What? Why?”
You: “So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas!”
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.