"Jesus believes in evolution -- and he hates it."
How did Eric Gray, the author behind the Web site Jesus Believes in Evolution (and the book of the same name) arrive at this provocative conclusion? The short answer follows this logic: Jesus and the rest of the gods of world religions might well be aliens, and these space deities are engaged in cosmic war over genetic resources, resulting in selective, strategic quickening of the natural evolutionary process, which Jesus rejects as a proponent of fair play.
The long answer unfurls a painstaking tapestry of connected pages, on which every sentence contains a link to another elaborate explanation of the great monotheistic extraterrestrial conspiracy. Gray claims "All these facts are thoroughly documented in the links," and looking at the intimidating morass of clickable blue, visitors might be inclined to take his word for it. Or they could ignore the text and concentrate on the amusing graphics and captions.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.