Submitted by Kevin Ascolilo
1) Your choice in music for the intro to this video. Powerman 5000? Really? Wow! Welcome to 1999, which is ironically the last time I was dumb, horny and lonely enough to care what some C- Sarah Silverman looking bitch thinks about whatever the fuck topic you expect me to care about.
2) This stupid shit:
3) Your "disclaimer" in which you invoke the standard "if you don't like it, don't watch" shit to sugar coat, surprise-surprise, a terrible, stupid, banal opinion. How about if you think a large group of people won't like it, DON'T MAKE
4) Apparently the point of this video is to imply "black people are just as racist, nay, MORE RACIST than white people! REVERSE RACISM!!!!!!". What a delightful opinion! Might I suggest you join our forums! Also, preemptive kudos on your GBS superstardom that this, and other similar opinions, will bring!
5) You seriously said "Pardon my french". Fuck you and your cutesy sayings, cunt. (pardon my misogyny)
6) Views: 478,033 asd;ng;oago;andgo;nadgoaingobn NO STRING OF LETTERS CAN SUFFICIENTLY QUANTIFY MY RAGE
7) That you were dumb enough to link to your Myspace page in your profile, yet smart enough to make your Myspace page private, yet dumb enough to not know how to properly format HTML which lead me to finding your Photobucket.
In other news, knock yourselves out AwfulVision readers: http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e287/katharine119/ (Note: I have no idea if there's anything interesting in there since 90% of it seems to be stupid Happy Bunny-esque "Date like a man, so you don't get played like a bitch" shit.
8) Welp, just gonna copy/paste your entire Youtube profile information for #8 here:
I'm Just Being ME!!! :) You either LOVE me or HATE me......you decide :)Name: Witchie
Find me also at:
Age: 29Hometown: GEORGIAI am a Solitary Eclectic Wiccan. I have been for 12 yrs and still going strong. I am what you would call a life Caster. All my videos are 100% real and part of my life. I post videos that are just plain vlogs along with share certain events and interesting normalities to my life. I also on post videos explaining my craft and some information that you can use pertaining to herbs as natural medicines. I love to meet new people and share my positive energy with others as much as possible.
Merry Meet and welcome to my channel I hope you enjoy and look forward to sharing my life and craft with you.
Wanna know more about me check out my Myspace and Stickam pages:
Country: United States
Occupation: Full Time Student/Mom/Bartender/...
Schools: Kennesaw State University
Interests and Hobbies: Herbs, my craft, my family and nature. I am studying very hard and very near to reaching my goal to becoming a certified Master Herbalist. I am a healer, lover, mother, best friend and village witch. :) I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinions and ways of thinking. Although we may not all agree we can still choose to live in peace with one another and learn to CO-EXIST.
Movies and Shows: CNN-Anderson Cooper, Larry King Live, Situation Room, Other than politics and an occasional tv special I do not watch tv.
Music: I like all kinds! Frank Sinatra, Pantera, Audioslave, Enya, Metallica, Three Days Grace, SlipKnot, 80's ROCK, Puddle of Mudd, Korn, M. Manson, Rage Againest the Machine, Nirvana and many more.
Books: Anything to further my knowledge in my craft and herbal practices.
9) Similar to #6, how the FUCK do you have 6000 subscribers you stupid skank? Do you sign people's names on your tits on Stickam if they promise to friend you on YouTube or something?
10) Like most ignorant Americans, you apparently think "Muslim" is a race (just like Chinese or "fuckin' purple guys").
11) Over-dramatic, theatrical, Keith Olbermann-esque, "How DARE you, sir!", faux-righteous fury works a whole lot better when it's not attached to stupid opinions or delivered by someone who describes themselves as a "Solitary Eclectic Witch" that is way into Three Days Grace and Enya.
13) You (along with every other scenester/wiccan/girl who didn't have enough hugs growing up) apparently identifies as "bisexual" (because that's hella unique! ^________^ Did I mention I'm WICCAN?! :D)
14) That I hate you so much my hate cannot be confined to a mere 10 examples.
Congratulations! You made it through another AwfulVision! I wish the same could be said for myself. I gave up halfway through this article and had the rest generated by a program I wrote in 5 minutes with QBASIC. Can you tell the difference? I sure can't!
Thanks to everyone who submitted a video. Thanks even more to those of you who didn't because my life is already painful enough as it is without you piling your bullshit on. If you have a video that would contribute to my downward spiral into madness, submit it right here!
And, of course, thanks to everyone who reads this dumb article. It was always my dream to spend my 25th birthday writing an article featuring a dude pooping and like 800 Hitler parody videos where Hitler gets all hella mad because his henchmen bought him Sierra Mist instead of Sprite or what the fuck ever. Thanks for making this possible! I hate myself!
See you jerks next time!
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!