It's pretty telling how bad this video is when even a staunch Democrat like myself wishes he could go back in time after watching it and vote for McCain and then beat up some gays or lynch some minorities or jerk off to pictures of Ann Coulter or elephants or piles of cash or whatever it is Republicans jerk off to.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have the strangest urge to buy every Rush Limbaugh book I can get my fat, white hands on.
Blah blah, Obama sucks. Blah blah, Obama rules. Blah blah, liberal usage of the n-word. Like I even need to type any of these out.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!