Sure, your favorite cartoon characters may collectively come of as jovial, well-adjusted creatures who likely haven't a worry in their multi-hued heads. But come on — are you so naïve as to think they don't have pressing, important issues to deal with, just like us humans? If so, then maybe this week's Comedy Goldmine will open your eyes to the crazy, often depressing lifestyles these lovable outlines can lead.



Forums Goon SailorBob gets us started with one of the most widely responded to MSPaint threads on the forums in years, thus necessitating this Goldmine be broken into two parts.


At least SailorBob's Calvin still has his imagination.

Old Man Withers shows us what a more likely lonely foster child's life is like.

It's definitely a black and white issue for Matt Cruea.

beeaar reminds us just how fearless our favorite Italian plumber really is.

More Comedy Goldmine

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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

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    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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