g0m

Top ten ways to fall off a bridge and die

  • 1. regularly - the old classic
  • 2. Jump off it. Style points
  • 3. Say messed up ironic stuff like Hitler and the n word while falling off it
  • 4. Make a cop shoot you off the edge so its suicide by cop
  • 5. Jump out of a plane and hit the edge of the bridge
  • 6. Be asleep and have people wheel your bed off the edge
  • 7. Successfully bungee jump off the bridge, and then trip over your cord
  • 8. On purpose
  • 9. Kill 1,000,000 people and then yourself
  • 10. G ive 'em the old one two

dendy crew

  • 29. While giving the peace sign
  • 30. While giving two peace signs
  • 31. While giving whatever version of the peace sign that actually means "frick you'
  • 32. Detonating a powerful explosive above you to force your viscera into the water at high speeds
  • 33. Getting your parents' attention to see your cool new trick
  • 34. Trying to keep running midair hoping to run along water's surface
  • 35. Same as above but using a bridge that is not over water
  • 36. Covered Bridge
  • 37. While trying to mythbust some dumb crap about falling off bridges
  • 38. Off decorative small bridges for home self-care oasis (reverts to #99 if you do not die from the short fall but instead die from other means such as oasis drowning)

Chilled Cactus

u could jump off the bridge but not be able to come back down, so u actually keep going higher and higher bc u can only jump up, until u get hit by a plane or something - just an original idea i had

Yad Rock

chum the waters below the bridge so when you jump off you will fall into a shark's mouth and go straightt through the shark's digestive system and come out as shark poop while you're still falling

dendy crew

has anyone said jumping off a bridge, onto another bridge yet?

I.N.R.I.

  • 1 go off the left side
  • 2 go off the right side
  • 3 cant think of any others
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7 wear a hat
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10

Thanks to g0m/no they will not for the themes, and to FYAD for the additional contributions, and to dendy crew for the GIFs; you can enjoy music together with him and have safe fun, on the web!

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.