According to the acceptance speeches at this year's Oscars, there is a war going on. It should therefore be the duty of every man, woman and dog to prepare for battle. Thankfully, our forum goons created a few animated instructions on how to best prepare for the harsh realities that come with living in times of war, based on this boring guide. Use the following images to motivate yourself until you feel ready to cause unspeakable harm to anyone who dares hail from a country other than your own.

angry_keebler feels the pain caused by war every day, after his Xbox 360 red-ringed during a game of Call Of Duty 4.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.