Q: I'm pathetically lonely, horny, and can't stop creeping around on dating websites. Help?
Q: I sit in the basement and eat junk food all day. Help!
Q: Do I waste too much time on the forums?
Q: The Internet has destroyed my faith in humanity. What can I do about this?
Q: C'mon Google, these were very profound and philosophical questions and those were your answers?
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.