There has to be a way to hang a bag of wine from my shower head, and get a long plastic tube thing on it to use as a crazy straw, so I can just sip wine hands-free the whole time I'm showering. Time to go to the hardware store!
Go to your local drugstore and buy an enema kit. It's a hot water bottle with clear plastic hose and a stop/start thing (can't remember the name) on the hose. Rinse inside of water bottle, fill with wine. Cap and insert plastic hose. On the end of the water bottle is a hole. Get a clothes hanger and put it through the hole. Hang off of shower rod or curtain rod.
Going to pick up a box of wine on the way home from work, tear off the packaging, put on my viking helmet, and become showerviking
THE FUCKIN ROBOCOP
Ducttaping a bladder of boxwine to the shower-wall is proving harder than I thought it would be, 5-liters is surprisingly heavy.
Guess I better drink a few liters to make it easier.
Now you can shove your head right under there while lathering and still be able to drink!
Frank FencepostLike a cow's udder...
I have a bachelor dilemma. It's laundry day, so I have gone and washed all the clothes I wore this week, including the ones I was wearing. Kicking around naked drinking cheap beer while it washes is great, and not my dilemma. My problem comes when the wash cycle finishes. I don't have a clothes dryer, but there is one opposite my place, I have my coins ready to go... but I don't have any unwashed clothes to put on. I haven't showered yet, so I don't really want to put on new clothes, especially not just to walk across the road. Do you think it would be appropriate to wrap myself in a beach towel to wander over and put my clothes on to dry?
Minion of Cthulhu
Find/make something to hang them on? Handrail, balcony, 550 cord strung up between doors in your house/apartment, just a few suggestions.
ZodijackyliteWhat's the lowest setting on your oven?
I was cramping really bad from my period and for some reason my heating pad decided to stop working. I didn't want to walk a whole ten blocks to get a new one at the supermarket, so I called pizza hut instead. Once it was delivered I spent about twenty minutes laying down with a warm pizza box on my gut, knowing how goddamn ridiculous I looked.
Of course after that I realized I didn't want any pizza, so now its sitting in my fridge to be breakfast and lunch for a week.
The only time I left the house this weekend was a couple hours ago, to grab a McRib. It occurs to me I haven't showered all weekend, either. In fact, pretty much the only things I did this weekend (besides eat, sleep, and shit) were reading comics and watching Netflix.
Bachelor, or just kinda sad?
Sounds like you need some in you, I know I do!
Can you figure out which clickbait headlines are a gross parody of journalism itself, and which are fake?
Forget Target or Best Buy, if you want deals this Black Friday you can't do better than smoking massive, mind-melting quantities of DMT.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.