When you live in a suburb, you learn that the main thing of it is having to politely interact with people you hate, who know for a fact where you live. Never lived the suburban lifestyle? Let this thread be your simulator!

Fuck My Ass

I'm the dude on the block with a real hot wife with no kids. a lake house and a hellcat

JackBadass

I hope the rest of you don't mind, but it's about 11 at night and I really gotta get started on mowing my lawn.

City of Glompton

hi *scurries inside without making eye contact*

hockey jockey

Do you know who owns the hellcat parked in my space? Doesn't anyone pay attention to the designated parking?

HaveARottenDay

Haha heeey neighbor! I went ahead and put a google map view of the property lines in your mailbox so you can avoid mowing into our yard next time. No big deal! Say did you watch ~that big game~ last nigh.. oh your going inside-just watch the yard lines next time kay? Good talk!

Fuck My Ass

is out enjoying this gorgeous day washing and waxing his hellcat

Manifisto

say did the trash guys come early this week?

it, uh, seems like they came early, they're usually right on time

you could set your watch by them, heh heh

not that I would, I don't wear a watch anymore

seems like people don't wear them so much

you know, because of, uh, cell phones

*trails off, squints up at sky for a while*

SniperWoreConverse

*pulls up next to the hell cat in my 1982 olds*
*revs until the check engine light comes on*

i am he

*grilling hamburgers voice* what do you think of my lawn

cda

*appraising lawn voice* nice hamburgers

Rigged Death Trap

Im the guy whos too good for this neighbourhood and cant wait to tell you how much richer and better ill be.
Richer than dinkleberg with his goddamn hellcat.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.