Welcome to this week's edition of the Something Awful Goldmine. How've you been? We're swell, thanks for asking! This week, our topic is on fast action BREAKING NEWS! There's a lot of stuff breaking in the world, and often times, BREAKING NEWS! reports are there to pick up on them, and relay the news to you and others like you. Our elite team of goons in the Awful Forums went about creating a blissful amalgamation of images for you to peruse. These reports are all fake, but they may one day be true! So it's best to look at them several times and take heed of the warnings they lay forth. Now, enough incoherent rambling, on with the incoherent show!
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.