Welcome to this week's edition of the Something Awful Goldmine. How've you been? We're swell, thanks for asking! This week, our topic is on fast action BREAKING NEWS! There's a lot of stuff breaking in the world, and often times, BREAKING NEWS! reports are there to pick up on them, and relay the news to you and others like you. Our elite team of goons in the Awful Forums went about creating a blissful amalgamation of images for you to peruse. These reports are all fake, but they may one day be true! So it's best to look at them several times and take heed of the warnings they lay forth. Now, enough incoherent rambling, on with the incoherent show!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.