Today's news media is a dirty whore, parading itself around in skimpy clothing and demonstrating the mental prowess of moldy bread. News is now more of an extended advertisement designed to get ratings and sell more advertisements, and the results chronicle mankind's delicious descent into all-out stupidity. With that in mind, this week the Something Awful Forums help the media along by showing them retarded and sensationalized stories they have yet to cover (possibly because they haven't happened yet)!

Ottoman is reporting the hell out of the news!

Symphoric was an apprentice to the master reporter Geraldo Rivera before setting out on his own.

After a long day of moisture farming, Kanzune scarcely had time to whip this up.

Ottoman overcame quadriplegia and a rampaging hippo to make this image.

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This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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