One week ago, Americans voted and did a pretty good job of it. At the very least, U.S. poll-goers established that having really dumb opinions about rape isn't the sure-fire election strategy it might have seemed to be! But what about the candidates who lost - what will they do next? It's a relevant question, and that relevance should not be diminished by the fact that most of the politicians the SA Goons chose to represent this theme are still in office, or Australian, or dead.

Cooper Green



L5 Death

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.