The paper trail ends here, because this week's Comedy Goldmine is finished. I owe my life to the forum goons who contributed to today's article, and I want to thank them by buying a huge banana split that we can all share! Next week we will be discussing the big question. God. Does he prefer smooth or chunky peanut butter? We will find out next Tuesday as the Comedy Goldmine returns to its normal timeslot. I hope to see you then!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.