Gold! Gooooooold! We're rich, doggonit!>TAKE GOLD
There is a stick and a wheel. Play that old-fashioned game where you push a wheel with a stick.
Break off the head of the new cactus companion and put the head on the stick. Carry him with you wherever you go. He will both defend you (cactus bat, anyone?) and love you.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.