Gold! Gooooooold! We're rich, doggonit!>TAKE GOLD
There is a stick and a wheel. Play that old-fashioned game where you push a wheel with a stick.
Break off the head of the new cactus companion and put the head on the stick. Carry him with you wherever you go. He will both defend you (cactus bat, anyone?) and love you.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.