Gold! Gooooooold! We're rich, doggonit!>TAKE GOLD
There is a stick and a wheel. Play that old-fashioned game where you push a wheel with a stick.
Break off the head of the new cactus companion and put the head on the stick. Carry him with you wherever you go. He will both defend you (cactus bat, anyone?) and love you.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
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