The most important thing right now is finding Dropsy a hat, everything else can wait.
Go talk to the railworkers and request a hat. Politely, don't be rude about it. This is the west.
Ask to bum a smoke off of one of the railroad workers. Smoke it like it is cool.
Check the coat pockets, then say hi to the two men. Be a nice clown.
Check them coat pockets, there may be valuable items in there to help in your Wild West Quest!
Two whole dollars!
Ooh, that cactus is up to something, investigate! If it isn't up to anything we need to clown it.
(Clown, vb: To add paint to a person or thing in order to give the impression of a clown's face, imbuing it with the magic of clown.)
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.