The most important thing right now is finding Dropsy a hat, everything else can wait.
Go talk to the railworkers and request a hat. Politely, don't be rude about it. This is the west.
Ask to bum a smoke off of one of the railroad workers. Smoke it like it is cool.
Check the coat pockets, then say hi to the two men. Be a nice clown.
Check them coat pockets, there may be valuable items in there to help in your Wild West Quest!
Two whole dollars!
Ooh, that cactus is up to something, investigate! If it isn't up to anything we need to clown it.
(Clown, vb: To add paint to a person or thing in order to give the impression of a clown's face, imbuing it with the magic of clown.)
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.