The most important thing right now is finding Dropsy a hat, everything else can wait.
Go talk to the railworkers and request a hat. Politely, don't be rude about it. This is the west.
Ask to bum a smoke off of one of the railroad workers. Smoke it like it is cool.
Check the coat pockets, then say hi to the two men. Be a nice clown.
Check them coat pockets, there may be valuable items in there to help in your Wild West Quest!
Two whole dollars!
Ooh, that cactus is up to something, investigate! If it isn't up to anything we need to clown it.
(Clown, vb: To add paint to a person or thing in order to give the impression of a clown's face, imbuing it with the magic of clown.)
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.