Around Noon, I gathered my bearings, bananas and berries and headed down to the Great Mall of America with my photographer.
After a few last minute adjustments (being startled by the car behind me, thus losing the grapes of the crown) and realizing that I forgot to bring a towel, we were off to find Great Memorial Day Savings, in honor of those who died in the Black Christmas wars of years past.
Plenty of people noticed & commented on my poise, grace and intriguing sense of style.
But the look wasn't perfect. Fortunately, I was able to improvise a solution. Say hello to the newest member of the Hat Club!
All of that window shopping sure made me hungry. While it's clear I could stand to lose a few pounds (particularly in the paunch, jaw and Fruit Hat areas), I decided to treat myself.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.