TommyFilth reached into his 16GB folder named "Demonic Kids Driving Cars" to share this effort with you.

I'm going to write an episode of the Twilight Zone starring Unkempt as a man who wins the lottery, only to find that it was the GHOST LOTTERY.

Xovaan caps things off with an image displaying the beauty of well-groomed facial hair.

It's time to bring an end to this Hogwarts-and-all edition of the Goldmine. Thanks to Trapezoid for helping out by supplying the images, and my appreciation also extends to the forum goons I keep chained up in my basement that were forced to work on drawings for this article. Next Tuesday I'll be back with another instalment of the most blasphemous feature on the internet. Don't forget to come back another time and check out the Comedy Goldmine: Where Atheism Lives.

– Craig "Russ" Russell

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