The white cabinet structure likely holds weaponry, inspect it for items which you can deploy more quickly than your standard-issue club.
I have opened the white cabinet. The temperature inside is much cooler than outside.
Take the bag marked "Tom" and eat its contents.
I have consumed the contents.
The human has reappeared, and is making a gurgling noise.
Reclaim your fuck and use your club to hold the human hostage. Demand that he bring you to the internet.
I have retrieved Fuck and exposed my weapon. But the human retreated!
It appears to have run into the door on the left.
I have given pursuit.
THE INTERNET! Destroy it with your club!
That will do no good. We're on a mission to insert a virus.
Mr The Icon posted:
The human will fit nicely in the metal box he is huddled next to. Place him inside so he does not interfere with the next stage of the mission.
Human inserted into box.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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