See if you can distract the human with any purses you still have on you. If she agrees, trade them for access to her terminal.
This human is resistant. It refuses and says "No, Max, I will not go on another date with you."
What is Max?
It appears this human is of low clearance and does not have access to the high access clearance to the internet I need. It is useless.
This one appears to be diseased: note the large tumors on the upper segment of its torso! Quickly, strike them! It may spread!
Max is Human for "unless you best me in a fight".
Commencing attack on tumors!
Assert your dominance by showing how wide you can unhinge your jaw.
It seems impressed.
Perhaps we should continue our mission, commander?
Give her the human compliment and continue past her.
I have arrived at a pair of metal portals.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.