Stabbey_the_Clown:"Who are YOU?"Ask that until they leave. make them give a different answer each time until they discover their true selves.
micah: Next time they come by I am going to invite them in and start playing guitar ear bleedingly loud.
me: Oh yeah, come in, I love Jesus, man!!
jevhnova's witnesses: Have you heard about..SCREECH MEEDLEY MEEDLEY
me: CHECK THIS THING OUT I WROTE LAST NIGHT!! *JIG JUGGA JIG JUGGA JIG* MEDLEY SCREECH*
At this point my brother jumps out from around the corner with a live rabbit in his mouth.
NickLess:I would ask one of them, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?"Then I would shoot their parents.
NickLess: I would ask one of them, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?"
Then I would shoot their parents.
Mr.Snrub: I liked my neighbor's approach. He saw them coming down his long driveway, walked out onto his porch as they weere halfway to his house, and simply pointed in the opposite direction. They stared for a second, and silently turned around and walked away.
EvilDonald: Once when two Mormons or Jehova's Witnesses (I don't remember which) came to my house and asked me what religion I was, I told them I was a Frisbetarian. They looked puzzled and asked what that was. I said, "We believe that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down."
And there you have it for this week's Goldmine, folks. Hopefully it has given you a few idea lest the Knocking Menace make itself known to you and hopefully it has taught you the sorts of people you had best avoid when asking for advice. See you next week and godspeed to an early, painful grave.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.