Stabbey_the_Clown:"Who are YOU?"Ask that until they leave. make them give a different answer each time until they discover their true selves.
micah: Next time they come by I am going to invite them in and start playing guitar ear bleedingly loud.
me: Oh yeah, come in, I love Jesus, man!!
jevhnova's witnesses: Have you heard about..SCREECH MEEDLEY MEEDLEY
me: CHECK THIS THING OUT I WROTE LAST NIGHT!! *JIG JUGGA JIG JUGGA JIG* MEDLEY SCREECH*
At this point my brother jumps out from around the corner with a live rabbit in his mouth.
NickLess:I would ask one of them, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?"Then I would shoot their parents.
NickLess: I would ask one of them, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?"
Then I would shoot their parents.
Mr.Snrub: I liked my neighbor's approach. He saw them coming down his long driveway, walked out onto his porch as they weere halfway to his house, and simply pointed in the opposite direction. They stared for a second, and silently turned around and walked away.
EvilDonald: Once when two Mormons or Jehova's Witnesses (I don't remember which) came to my house and asked me what religion I was, I told them I was a Frisbetarian. They looked puzzled and asked what that was. I said, "We believe that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down."
And there you have it for this week's Goldmine, folks. Hopefully it has given you a few idea lest the Knocking Menace make itself known to you and hopefully it has taught you the sorts of people you had best avoid when asking for advice. See you next week and godspeed to an early, painful grave.
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
Hey, have you guys ever seen a picture of a cat before? Well, guess what. It’s your lucky day, because I’m mixing the concept of a picture of my cat with the concept of the Internet!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.