no they will not

shitin milk

Link visits his gay sisters house to find his boomerang he forgot at her place but instead finds feelings and showers nude in one scene

Some Other Guy

a bisexual link who is sexually active during key parts of the story seems good to me

Trill Twisty

Link can get a boner anytime haha but he can only cum if he has full hearts (now called empathy kernels)

Anime Sandwich

thinking maybe a romance side game would be a good way to really scream "this is NOT your parents link!" possible options for romance: zelda(duh), malon, impa, twinrova(two chicks at once. ohhh yeah), ganondorf, heck, maybe even tingle.

Monocular

link is juggling saria and zelda and takes them out to a date on the same night at the same restaurant, which is promptly leveled by a suicide bomber

SuppressdPuberty93

link and zelda are able to watch black is the new orange together and not even feel the least bit awkward about the steamy parts

Monocular

instead of breaking pots link now kicks down doors, rummages through cabinets, and pockets consumer electronics in what some would call a home invasion but what he calls the hylian hustle

Skylark

Link spins poi to hylian breakbeats and uses them to light torches so bars slide off doors in dungeons

Trill Twisty

The potions are all drugs

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