Let's say you've resolved to die in 2014, and you'd like that death to be inspired by song lyrics (because of your secondary resolution, which is "develop a deeper appreciation of music"). Don't expect help from Megadeth's "99 Ways to Die" or Blac Monks' "Zillion Ways to Die," because despite the misleading names they don't reveal many methods. Your best bet is probably "1-800-Suicide" by Gravediggaz, but that track is almost 20 years old, so its death suggestions are no longer on the cutting edge! It still sounds good, though, so maybe play it while reading this thread that no they will not made, titled "I love to get killed from car accidents and to get shot with rockets." Thanks to dendy crew for the images; you can enjoy music together with him and have safe fun, on the web!

Dr. Spiderman

most people aren't a fan of brutally dieing in gruesome ways but I guess I'm not most people

Rap Game Forum Mod

I actually wish I was immortal... but only so I can die an infinite number of times

no they will not

It's extremely good to me when I get murdered in the middle of the night by a powerful thief.

no they will not

Lung cancer? Fantastic. Heart disease? Great. Hodgkin's lymphoma? Wonderful.

no they will not

Well all: It happened. Finally got diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Luckily, I'm actually fucked up and twisted enough to think that sort of disgusting shit is good.

dendy crew

Personally OP I prefer to be kidnapped and drugged, displayed in the middle of a major city while the CEO of a company too big to fail takes sloppy axe chops at my shins

Yad Rock

i want to get shot a bunch of times with semi-automatic guns from a crazy man in tactical gear while going about my business in public or the workplace

HOT SQUATS

i want government commando guys w/ body armor and assault rifles to sweep through my home late at night. i want them to shoot me in my sleep with insane levels of discipline and accuracy.

little munchkin

i'm always willing to try out new things, whether it's a restaurant that just opened up, or injecting experimental poisons into my veins

no they will not

It's good shit to be poisoned to death by a scheming grand vizier looking to claim your throne.

dendy crew

I'm also partial to being under the ward of an intensely insecure mother who has convinced herself the only way to get sympathy from people and hide her parenting mistakes is to poison me just enough to make me sick forever

dogcrash truther

my parents just don't under stand that, this is my Thing: being crushed by a boulder thrown down from on high by an angry tribesman

no they will not

I'm going to fall down a big hole.

Edit: I'm going to be tricked into falling down the hole

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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