Well, here we are on page two, and once again, solarspawn has picked up his ball and cast a petulant look homeward: "I do have over fifty years of success as an artist and inventor, but I can gather from the nature of the posts so far I will not be here long enough to get into details."
usbombshell can read the writing on the translucent watermelon: "Spawn Arsenal. That is the most beautiful phrase ever uttered."
Mr. Pumroy: "I keep clicking around trying to see if I can get past the badly artifacted images and the paragraphs of Garfield font to find the hidden Timecube ramblings that must be in there somewhere. It's like a game of hide and seek. Are you hiding crazy in that website? Tell me where it is."
Hungry Gerbil: "OP is a schizophrenic AI. Don't agitate him too much or he will become skynet."
solarspawn is back! But he has demands: "At this point it would take some radically good posters to counterbalance the idiots on this board." Fortunately, SA keeps a surplus of radically good posters on call for such occasions! Unfortunately, they couldn't make radically good posts because they were too busy trying to decoder-ring their way through his sites.
GWBBQ: "I found the page where you scroll around and have to find the white spot to click on, I ended up with a picture of The Last Supper. I clicked again and now I can't get back to it, all I can do is click the white spot again and get a blank page titled "roll"
Gardias: "solarspawn do you have any cool photoshops of lanterns I can buy for 465 dollars?"
solarspawn: "There are[photos of some of the inventions on solarspawn website. I have inventions at every corner of the globe, including the poles. Some are defending our troops right now. Some make you safer on the highway. Many provide jobs all around the world. Most are inconsequential, but fun to think up."
My mom is a slut: "I really hope there's a picture floating around of a soldier looking bewildered at a newly delivered SPAWN TRAIN."
Ars Arcanum: "So solarspawn, are you a wizard? Either way, please tell us more about wizardry."
solarspawn: "If it was good enough for da Vinci, it is good enough for me. You may have a superstitious notion of what wizard is. The Leo was very open and effective as wizard.
"About this wizard thing, kids; it is not wise to assume others are as stupidly superstitious as yourselves. There is nothing supernatural in a natural world. A wizard to a thinking person is a person who makes their way and purpose in life thinking. Thinking is the unseen world ... until the wizard makes thought manifest."
Gabriel Pope: "Have you considered turning one of your patients into a newt? I've always thought newts had it pretty sweet. Maybe they would be happier as a healthy functional newt than as a human suffering from dissibilities."
catpowerd: "Do not take him for some conjurer of cheap tricks. he is not trying to rob you. hes trying to help you"
Ars Arcanum: "do you sell any of your inventions? If so, I'd like to purchase a Robo Dragon."
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.