So Herman just sat there watching them for a minute.
What we didn't know was that Herman was wanting a little poontang himself. Mind you, it's not unusual for certain animals to masturbate and elephants are no exception. We could see him in the pool rocking back and forth and we figured that was what he was doing. When he started to come out of the pool, it was quite evident we were right.
The pool was a good 6 foot deep, well it went from 3 foot to 6 foot deep. Herman stayed in the deep end. So when he started to come out, he emerged a little bit at a time. His chest emerged, then his front legs and THEN HIS COCK!! Needless to say, elephants have humongous cocks. When they are semi-hard, they can drag the ground. When they are flying at full staff, they can actually stick out from between their front legs, not unlike myself.
So here comes Herman and his tool. He hits the steps and starts coming out. Then it happens. His rod sort of plopped onto the top step a millisecond before his right foot came down in the same spot.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.