The GoateeSaver
If you're having trouble keeping your goatee neat, just shave the fucking thing off. Nothing looks stupider than a fussily trimmed goatee. If you must persist in your clearly villainous obsession with diligent facial-hair maintenance, the GoateeSaver might be just the invention you've been seeking. Users chomp down on a plastic mouthpiece that looks like a streamlined cannibal muzzle, then guide their razors around its edges. This method might make GoateeSaver consumers feel manly, like old Western stars biting a bullet while undergoing an excruciating procedure, but it should be noted that those actors grew grizzly beards and untamed mustaches, and that anyone who walked into a rough saloon sporting a fastidiously tidy goatee would've been shot on sight.
This Week on Something Awful...
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The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
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Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
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LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
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Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.
