The GoateeSaver
If you're having trouble keeping your goatee neat, just shave the fucking thing off. Nothing looks stupider than a fussily trimmed goatee. If you must persist in your clearly villainous obsession with diligent facial-hair maintenance, the GoateeSaver might be just the invention you've been seeking. Users chomp down on a plastic mouthpiece that looks like a streamlined cannibal muzzle, then guide their razors around its edges. This method might make GoateeSaver consumers feel manly, like old Western stars biting a bullet while undergoing an excruciating procedure, but it should be noted that those actors grew grizzly beards and untamed mustaches, and that anyone who walked into a rough saloon sporting a fastidiously tidy goatee would've been shot on sight.
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Movies That Show Their Age!
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Stuff You Will Hate II: Unholy Creations
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I send Sgt. D the kind of shit that makes him mad, and he sends back -- whatever, I hate everything.
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Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part two)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack subject themselves to the second half of Warhammer 40,000's Rogue Trader.
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I Ate A Luna Bar And My Dick Fell Off!
AwfulVision
Pillow fartin', totally reasonable Republicans and CLOWNCORE MOTHERFUCKER *honk honk*
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