Turd Twister (Thanks, slimgoodbody!)
Psychologists once asked people to compare their bowel movements to photos of other people's feces. The subjects all favored their own shits. One of the Internet's proudest achievements has been to eliminate this bias with objective quantification sites such as Ratemypoo.com. But people who don't mind cheating to produce aesthetically pleasing excreta can order the Turd Twister, an attachment that turns your ass into a Play-Doh Fun Factory.