Daily Dirt 7/30/06
This Update...
Came from this article at CNN, which tells us something we've known for years: all teenagers are stupid and only survive to adulthood because the world is basically idiot-safe. After Lowtax forwarded it to me we started planning this article, and after stealing all of his good ideas and making them my own (read: bad) I came up with what you just read. Thanks for the idea, Toesnacks!

Thanks, Microwave
Alex "Microwave" May did all the art for this update and I thought he deserved some credit! Eventually some idiot's really going to try this and I need someone to defer the lawsuit papers to! Thanks for putting up with my constant "WAIT, WAIT CHANGE THAT" messages, Alex!
Movie Reviews
Last week we ran a review of "Metalheads", arguably the worst movie ever made. After sitting through that I think I can probably watch anything, so keep emailing those suggestions and I will try to sift through them!
Pregame Wrapup
Thanks to everyone who emailed me about the last Pregame Wrapup. I'm having a lot of fun writing them and I'm glad so many people are enjoying them. Next time we'll probably look at some baseball teams, so if you like baseball be sure to read it! Also, I'm trying to learn about soccer and hockey so I can make fun of them, too, but it's a long process. Eventually you weirdos with your alternative sports will have your moment in the sun.
Thanks for reading, guys! See you in a few weeks!
This Week on Something Awful...
-
March 16, 2010
Forum Friday's Monday
Forum Friday's Monday spotlights some of the best recent threads on the SA Forums!
-
Meet Uncle Jack!
Comedy Goldmine
The SA forum goons share their disturbing definition of "wacky family adventures."
-
Green Zone; Remember Me
Current Releases
ProfessorClumsy enjoys Green Zone. Slvbarek and Macrame_God double-team Remember Me.
-
SXSW Guide and Anti-Guide 2010!
Garbage Day
The most bafflingly comprehensive guide to the 3/18 SXSW lineup you'll find anywhere!

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.