The Erotic Monster Manual Contest Winners
Xorn by AED

Zack: Is this the part where James Woods pulls the pistol out of his stomach?
Steve: Xorns. Great. First a rust monster can eat all your armor and then a bunch of big hootered Xorns can gobble all your gems.
Zack: On the plus side maybe it will eat your 75,000 copper pieces.
Xorn by Jitske
Zack: This is what happens when wizards get lonely. Mordenkainen's Fantastic Fleshlight is an abomination.
Steve: It turns out the more inhuman the monster, the creepier it is when you make it look like a woman.

