Rust Monster by Fickle Pixie
Steve: Rust monsters are the worst. I lost an entire suit of plate to one on my last fighter character. Way to be a dick, Jamie. My AC was like a baby's for the rest of that adventure.
Zack: We had a lot of entries like this one that, while good, were marred by the creeping furry crawlers.
Steve: You know that feel you get when the news does its nightly bed bug story? That's the feeling.
Giant Slug by Fickle Pixie
Zack: Truly, this captures the spirit of the contest.
Steve: Yeah, it doesn't really look like D&D art, but otherwise it's what we wanted.
Zack: That's right, folks, we wanted tits on a slug. Huge, huge breasts on an immense slug.
Steve: They're awesome. They're about to pop out of there. Then what?
Zack: That's the point where the Grunka-Lunkas come out and sing a song about cleavage.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.