Mind Flayer by Psycho Tiyal
Zack: I wonder if the artist on this one spent a lot of time studying images of old people butts. I bet they did. That is an old person butt.
Steve: Wait a second, how could you spot that?
Zack: Let's just say my version of your PB&J fantasy job involves old people butts. And guess what, Steve, I'm living the fantasy all thanks to Google.
Steve: Absolute searching corrupts absolutely.
Zack: That's what happened to Tom Sizemore.
Ettin by Harold
Steve: Heck yeah, now this is what I'm talking about.
Zack: I think she's doing a breast self-exam.
Steve: Detect cancer would be a pretty good spell. Way more useful than detect evil when you think about it.
Zack: Yeah, who is defining evil here? I didn't vote for Pelor.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.