Gelatinous Cube by Mason
Steve: We had a ton of great gelatinous cube pictures and this one was probably the best overall.
Zack: It really captures the "what the hell were they thinking?" feel of the original D&D illustrations. Because, really, what the hell were they thinking?
Steve: Someone stared at a six-sided die a little too long.
Mimic by Mark
Zack: I can imagine some embarrassing trips to the cleric caused by erotic mimic: I sat down on the toilet and my balls got caught in the seat and were torn off and also my dill pole and also my lips need to be healed. What do you mean, where? The toilet in the dungeon.
Steve: I stepped on, uh, a pressure plate and that is why I am naked and bleeding from my butt.
Zack: Well, I guess I could have moved, but it took me a while to get in the sex swing and when it started moving I thought it was like that movie with Kim Cattrall.
Steve: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.