Gelatinous Cube by Mason
Steve: We had a ton of great gelatinous cube pictures and this one was probably the best overall.
Zack: It really captures the "what the hell were they thinking?" feel of the original D&D illustrations. Because, really, what the hell were they thinking?
Steve: Someone stared at a six-sided die a little too long.
Mimic by Mark
Zack: I can imagine some embarrassing trips to the cleric caused by erotic mimic: I sat down on the toilet and my balls got caught in the seat and were torn off and also my dill pole and also my lips need to be healed. What do you mean, where? The toilet in the dungeon.
Steve: I stepped on, uh, a pressure plate and that is why I am naked and bleeding from my butt.
Zack: Well, I guess I could have moved, but it took me a while to get in the sex swing and when it started moving I thought it was like that movie with Kim Cattrall.
Steve: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.