Marvel Super Heroes' Monster Manual: Volume One (Part 1)

Zack: Kip Amadeus Bleh AKA Baron Morbid Sadsack from Barf Murder, Transylvania is SINGLE!??! Ladies, get on this shit!
Steve: He's Eastern European minor royalty in a warlock collar.
Zack: He can regale with occult lore and Transylvanian history until you need a towel for your chair. Your creepy Eastern European antique chair.
Steve: All sex lights off and you must agree to mesmerism in the bedroom.
Zack: Must be open to Dormammu and the Ancient One.
Steve: "My dear, did I ever tell you about the elder circle of the golden order of Dorm Roomu?"
Zack: "If you hear any strange winds in the night do not fear, my sweet flower. It is only Baron Blood who will be visiting while his Nazi castle is fumigated."
Steve: I don't want this to ever stop.
Zack: It doesn't have to, Steve! We have only made it halfway through this book and there are three more books of these guys!
Steve: Shift Z Happiness, right here bro.
Zack: Class 5000 Joy.
Steve: Poor Mirth Control.
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