Wool Fetish SWAT

Zack: It must suck getting your older brother's hand-me-downs when he's eight feet tall and has a goiter the size of a watermelon.
Dr. Thorpe: Mean huggin'.
Zack: I think this dude needs to get his sweater circumsized.
Dr. Thorpe: He could make a reasonably- sized sweater out of the excess.
Zack: I see all kinds of smegma building up. Oh, my bad, that's just the guy.
Zack: "Yo, man, the cameras are all set up, don't worry about washing your jeans. Nobody is gonna even look at your jeans when they see this sweater!"
Dr. Thorpe: He may look kind of filthy, but keep in mind that you can go a long time without showering in those things because it takes a couple of weeks for smells to start finding their way out.
Zack: There's still a week old fart ricocheting around in the yarn near his armpit.
Dr. Thorpe: They have to wend their merrye way 'round Robin Hood's barn and o'er many rolling fields of cable knit.
Dr. Thorpe: Ohhh, wait a minute, I think we're looking at this wrong. I think what we actually have here is what's known as the Scandinavian Straitjacket.
Zack: I wonder if you threw a bucket of water on him if it would all just roll up into his collar.
Dr. Thorpe: You'd have to throw a lot of buckets before he'd notice. This guy could soak up some medium-sized ponds.
Dr. Thorpe: Nah... too much like bathing.
