Sad Posts Say So Much
Deep Hurting posted:
Personally, after about 25 years of zero dates and feeling like I have been in love no more than once, the only thing keeping me from diving under a train is my art, so I'd wager on the former being the better of the two. It sure as hell couldn't be worse.
I guess the best analogy would be like it's a drug. People who have loved and lost, tend to take up new relationships easily, since they want that feeling back, even though it hurts when they lost it. For me, I don't want to even start, because I'm afraid of giving myself over to it then being crushed when I lose it. Since I've never really experienced it, I don't have this drive for it. Jaded thinking yes, but I can't help it.
I walked into a gas station 2 steps when a guy turned from the counter and bumped into me. We stopped and he gave me the eye, I looked over and he was carrying a child. Tense moment passes and the kid is crying.
I thought OK, great, rattled kid (I deal with them at work all the time), blah blah, I apologize, and try to walk away then he calls me a prick and produces a bloody napkin. Appearently, somehow, the child bit it's own lip on account of the bump, and it was a bleeder. I apologize again and realize this is serious. Before I even know what to do the guy is calling me a prick and asking the guy behind the counter "Can you hold my baby? I gotta kick this prick's ass."
I decide it's time to go, there was just too much chaos at this point. So I leave, get in my car and gun it. I get home panicked and guilt ridden as hell, so I jump on the gas stations website and locate them (it's close to my house, I go there all the time). I tell the clerk I was in there, and the situation, and I ask if the child is OK. Clerk says the child is OK, and the guy is there. Guy gets on the phone and says I should come back and that it's all cool.
I decide to call the police just in case, even though cops hang out there all the time. Somehow there wasn't any when this happened. I go back to the station, and the guy is across the street, where he lives, and like 4 cops are there. I explain to the cop the situation, and I'm rather shaken since I don't really know if I'm criminally responsible, and for fuck's sake it's practically an infant. I'm not the kind of psychotic who would ever willingly hurt a child, and certainly not the type to walk away after accidentally doing so (given I'm not being threatened by a thug looking Latino male). Plus I don't have any idea if I left the scene of a crime, or accident, or fuck knows what.
Cops settle everything, we all walk away, and I decide I may as well buy what I came for. After doing so this guy and his whole family (I think like mother, grandmother, sister, wife, other children) are all out front and he waves for me to come there. Apprehensively I do, and basically he says I should do something nice for his daughter "like a couple hundred dollars." I tell him there is simply no way I can do that, though im guilt ridden. We talk it down to sixty and I go to an ATM to get it.
They are looking at me like I'm either a chump, or Satan, and their speaking to each other in a different language. Suddenly, he sees the money and he doesn't even make eye contact with me just stares at the money. I apologize again, and tell him to get her something nice. Now, had I left after the cops told me to, I wouldn't be out sixty bucks. I probably wouldn't see the guy again.
I ask how would you handle this situation.