Flames From Review of Neverwinter Nights
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From: Nevik MinorEvil
Subject: Neverwinter Nights review
Dear Truth Media Editor,
I Am sickened by your review of Neverwinter Nights. You refered to it as a diablo inspired game, where as it has a completely differnt game style, it runs on slighty Dungeons and Dragons 3rd Edition (Not advanced on not 3rd level.) The Races are completly identicle to the ones discribed and shown in the DnD 3e players hnad book, and WHY THE FUCK DO THE CHARACTERS IN THE DAMNED GAME HAVE TO BE THE FUCKING SAME AS THE ONES THE FUCKING MOVIES?!?!? The speed of the game has nothing to do with the amount of ram in your shit-hole of a computer! You (the player) are the main character not the character in the intro! this movie was orgionaly a teaser. ATLANIS IS UNDER WATER! AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! Why does the menu matter?! Recommended is BAD(evil)! It will stick you with parry and other usless skills! Distrubuting points takes only seconds! POISON RESIST IS NOT AN ABLITY! ARE YOU DUMB CAN YOU NOT USE A MOUSE?! PAUSING WAS IN BG1 AND BG2 BEFORE DUNGEON SEIGE CAME OUT! FEATS ARE NOT MAGICAL! AND COMBAT IS ONE CLICK! AoO AREFROM DnD AND NOT MADE UP BY ATRARI! MANA IS FOR IDIOTS! WIZARD BASILY INVENT THE FIREBALL! TRAPS CAN BE DISABLED! AND BE SEEN ASWELL! YOU ARE A DIMWITTED IDOIT
He said bad words. They hurt my feelings. I am now dead.
Let's go to something more positive now, an email message which greeted us with "Morning!" and pretty much went downhill from there.
From: Christian Bednarek
Subject: Your NWN Review
[ ] you understand role playing
[ ] you know the difference between AD&D and D&D
[ ] you can keep up a line and opinion in one article
[ ] you should do such reviews again
[ ] you know the structural differences between D2, NWN an DS
We had a lot of fun with your review. A thousand Thanks :-)
[ ] your brain is capable of operating at industry-accepted levels, allowing you to not fall for fake reviews and refuse to write emails which end with "Greets"
The Happiest Man In Springfield
Hubba hubba! Now that we've got that mandatory happiness out of the way, let's revert back to "dark and brooding idiot mode" because, quite frankly, it's so very exciting.
From: Alan Funk
Subject: NWN review
Was the person who wrote this aritcle a complete FUCKING IDIOT or only 99.9% ?
Information Systems Department
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I don't know, Alan Funk, I'll have to get my Litmus paper and do a little test! In the meantime, why don't you and your Canadian buddy Arthur R.T. Dickey get together and talk about how people like you got technical jobs of any merit whatsoever! Then maybe you can ask why you decided to use your work email accounts, which have your contact information in your sigs, to flame us? I hope the answer is exciting! POSITIVELY exciting! Har!
Just to demonstrate that the NWN fans are just as verbose as the Lord of the Rings jerks, I think we should take a slight right at the next corner and head into "I've Got Way Too Much Free Time" Avenue.
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