The Weekend Web

AIM Girl, Hentai Lovers, Prison Talk

Saturday, May 15, 2004 Update by Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

Have you ever been having a good day and then all of a sudden you get sick and throw up so hard you start seeing shit you ate roughly four years ago? That describes my night flawlessly. While puking isn't a terribly horrible experience, because you actually feel quite better afterwards, the only part I really dislike is when the shit gets lodged up your nose. I swear to God that is the worst. Who's bright idea was it to connect the nose to the esophagus anyway? Here I am throwing up chili and all of a sudden I have burning acid meat in my goddamn nose that lodges itself there and sleeps for about two hours. If I sniff hard enough I can still taste the pleasent aroma of stomach bile and chili. I'm still feeling kind of queesy so please don't show anything from the E! network to me. I just might burst.

AIM Girl

Internet girls. There is no other species that confuses me quite like these fine specimens of human evolution. Whether it's posts where every other word is spelled wrong, or a gaggle of girls trying to figure out what "twat" means, internet girls do not fail to please. Please read each post carefully and really try to understand what these girls are saying. If you succeed then you are an alien and I hate you.

It's a strange new world where Z's replace S's and nothing is what it seems!

Stop eating?

Go the extra mile and just remove the skin.

Smoke some? Smoke some?! Some some what?! I gotta know!

Wasn't this the plot to "She's All That"?

It wasn't exactly a text book defination of rape, dear. Welcome to the exciting world of low self-esteem sex. You'll get used to having sex with people to get them to like you.