Is, for the most part, all true. It stemmed from a trip I took to Missouri a few weeks ago. During that trip I got to meet Lowtax, who took me and my roommates out to dinner. He ordered a steak that promised him an "Adventure to Flavortown". Unfortunately, his adventure ended with about a quarter of a steak to go when I showed him my awesome cyst. He told me to write an update about it so here it is.
I've heard it's called a "ganglion cyst" or something like that. It doesn't hurt or constrict my movement, but it's on my ring finger and I'm getting married in a few months. It will probably have to go unless I can find an XXL wedding ring to cover it. Who knows.
I don't have a lot else to say in this Daily Dirt, but I'd like to encourage you all to read Pregame Wrapup if you get a chance. I try to make it as accessible as possible, so hopefully you can all get at least one chuckle out of each article. On that note I'm taking out a hit on Adam Morrison next time around, so that's always fun.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!