Today's mysterious update is sort of an outgrowth of an old hobby shared by Zack "Geisteditor" Parsons, Josh "Livestock" Boruff, Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz and I. We sometimes post a bunch of fake threads in a little-known subforum on the Awful Forums known as "SA Mart Discussion" in which we attempt to sell ridiculous and imaginary items. I've always liked surreal humor like this, and if you don't like it, you can eat my dust, slowpoke.
Speaking of Josh "Livestock" Boruff, he's updating the site tomorrow, and from all the hints he's given me, it's bound to go down in history as his greatest update of all time. He's got something BIG in the works! You won't want to miss this one!
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
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