Today's mysterious update is sort of an outgrowth of an old hobby shared by Zack "Geisteditor" Parsons, Josh "Livestock" Boruff, Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz and I. We sometimes post a bunch of fake threads in a little-known subforum on the Awful Forums known as "SA Mart Discussion" in which we attempt to sell ridiculous and imaginary items. I've always liked surreal humor like this, and if you don't like it, you can eat my dust, slowpoke.
Speaking of Josh "Livestock" Boruff, he's updating the site tomorrow, and from all the hints he's given me, it's bound to go down in history as his greatest update of all time. He's got something BIG in the works! You won't want to miss this one!
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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