Today's mysterious update is sort of an outgrowth of an old hobby shared by Zack "Geisteditor" Parsons, Josh "Livestock" Boruff, Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz and I. We sometimes post a bunch of fake threads in a little-known subforum on the Awful Forums known as "SA Mart Discussion" in which we attempt to sell ridiculous and imaginary items. I've always liked surreal humor like this, and if you don't like it, you can eat my dust, slowpoke.
Speaking of Josh "Livestock" Boruff, he's updating the site tomorrow, and from all the hints he's given me, it's bound to go down in history as his greatest update of all time. He's got something BIG in the works! You won't want to miss this one!
Now with the sun and the warmth and the generally pleasant atmosphere, you can no longer blame the weather for why you've spent the last sixteen hours sitting inside. You'll need to stay on your toes if you want to stay in your chair.
This tuna ain't working, bro, and this gross hot dog needs a one way trip to go live on your uncle's Flavor Farm.
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