Today's mysterious update is sort of an outgrowth of an old hobby shared by Zack "Geisteditor" Parsons, Josh "Livestock" Boruff, Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz and I. We sometimes post a bunch of fake threads in a little-known subforum on the Awful Forums known as "SA Mart Discussion" in which we attempt to sell ridiculous and imaginary items. I've always liked surreal humor like this, and if you don't like it, you can eat my dust, slowpoke.
Speaking of Josh "Livestock" Boruff, he's updating the site tomorrow, and from all the hints he's given me, it's bound to go down in history as his greatest update of all time. He's got something BIG in the works! You won't want to miss this one!
Overwatch is Blizzard's hugely successful new shooter with ten thousand characters and a hundred thousand skill icons. We'll show you what the buttons mean.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!